Curtain Call

Olivia Ludwick
1 min readJun 11, 2021

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Who should I be today?
Keep it up and it will all be okay.

The voice in my head gives a nice firm warning
Don’t get exposed or you’ll lose your belonging

The fear creeps in and continues to remind
What the kids used to point and whisper from behind

“She’s basically white, she doesn’t even talk ghetto.”
“She’s such an Oreo, like how does she not know though?”

It seemed to me that how I looked was the problem
But how I talked didn’t really bother them.

So I keep my act up and keep my head down low
I act how I’m supposed to so they don’t look below

Below the surface of a perfectly timed laugh
The full smile hmm no maybe just a half

Below my dark skin to my “white” sounding voice
So much to remember, but I don’t have a choice

It’s draining.
To be who they want me to be.

It’s disappointing.
To think they don’t really know me.

The present mom and perfect teammate
The supportive friend and loving soulmate

Whatever you need I’ve always vowed to be it
But here’s my 2 weeks notice, that’s right I have to quit it

I’ll take control and set the masks aside
Who I am is more than what’s on the outside

This whole thing has been a game of trivia.
Times up! The answer, has always been Olivia.

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Olivia Ludwick
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Starting to tell my story outside of a journal